Moving on.

I’m having a bad day today and writing about my feelings always seems to help, so here it goes!

I’ve written about my last relationship a few times, sometimes I just briefly complain and other times I’ve gone into detail about the abuse and the real dark times that I’ve been through. Today I was talking to a mutual friend that we have and she told me that he’s moved on, he’s found someone and he’s happy. I’m not upset that he’s with someone I’m upset that he’s happy. He put my through hell for the last year of our relationship and It’s taking me a long time to get over it. I feel like I’m scared and its never going heal. I want to cry and rip my skin off every time I think of the things he done to me. Despite all of that, he’s happy. How is that fair?

He is a monster and he’s never been punished for it while I’m punishing myself every day. I feel like I can’t move on and I don’t trust relationships with anyone anymore, but he gets to be happy.

why…?