I’ve been writing a lot about my bad days and complaining about how hard everything is and feeling sorry for myself. This is usually how I spend most of my days, I done this until about four o’clock this afternoon. Out of nowhere I just sat up and thought to myself, ‘what are you doing?!’. I got dressed, went for a little walk and now I feel amazing!
I’ve been chatting to some old friends and I’ve even made plans for tomorrow. I feel like I’m on top of the world! I can’t stress enough how important it is to love yourself! I could list a million things I don’t like about myself and things I’d love to change but I have so many good qualities as well that I always seem to forget about, talking to my old friends tonight has reminded me of that!
As you know my depression is something I am trying to be open about, I tend to attach my feelings to places. for example when I was 17 I had a breakdown and for some unknown reason I linked this to my college, still to this day I have no idea why but after that every time I went near the building I would completely lose it! It’s the same vice versa for me, If I find somewhere I’m comfortable like my old place of work, I will never be sad there! I would go into work and all of my problems would be left at the door, I’d have a great shift every night and I was so popular and fun. I was like Jekyll and Hyde! Anyway the point I’m trying to get at is that my old work friends always thought of me as this great happy person and as soon as I started talking to them again that’s instantly how I felt and then it hit me, I feel like that because I am still that person! I’ve got to stop beating myself up constantly and just be happy! If I’m having a bad day just remember I am a good Mum, and I am a fun person and people do like me.
I think everyone could do with a bit of self loving every now and then!